Here I am 12:20 on a Saturday night, and for no specific reason I can't stop thinking about her. I'm ashamed to admit, but I try to keep myself so busy that I don't have to think about her being gone. Still, at certain times, it hits me like a ton of bricks and I'm forced to remember that she was taken from us. More than ever, lately I catch myself thinking about what I am going to tell her, and then I remember. I am so very fortunate for all the wonderful things that are happening in my life and the fact that I can't share them with her seems so unfair. She stood by me through all the difficult times, it seems only fitting that she should be here to share in the happy times too. Kylee is growing up to be such a beautiful young women. I'm so proud of her. She keeps pictures of mom hanging in her room. Pictures of mom holding her when she was a baby, and pictures of her and Dylan once they got a little older. When I go into her room, I can't help but wonder, how she can stand to look at them every day. How can she stand the constant reminder that causes such pain and heartache. I guess I already know the answer. I've always known Kylee is a bit of an old soul, wise and mature beyond her years. She would rather wake up to the memory of her grandmother everyday even if it means facing the pain that goes along with it. I guess that makes her stronger than me sometimes.